Waking up yesterday morning and seeing the word “Congratulations” was a surreal moment for me. I entered my newly published and only book I have ever written into the Indie Excellence Awards contest and I won as a finalist winner for my auto-biography. Needless to say as a new author I could not believe it! I am not sure if I can really explain this feeling, it is like being validated for all your hard work. This is a prestigious award! What an honor for me to have that gold symbol on all my books. To know what I wrote stood out among thousands of entries let’s me know that the strong message about alcoholism is indeed a worthy read!
The e-mail went on to say that I am now an award winning author…….that in itself blows me away, me an award winning author? Somebody pinch me this can’t be real! It is very real because I took a big risk, a chance to follow my dream because I love to write. Being the spouse of an alcoholic is no easy task, it is emotionally devastating, it is a very painful journey. What I feel my lesson is through all of this is that I was meant to be here, this is my place in life. It has been said that God makes a special woman for every man and I am that woman for my husband (or at least that is what I believe).
I never thought I would be saying “I am the wife of an alcoholic” but I am and I am proud to be. My husband and I have been together for over 15 years, we have four children between us they are all grown and living their own lives. My husband has been sober for 2 years 7 months. He was a binge drinker for 12 1/2 years of our relationship and for many, many years before that. I wrote my book “Married Under The Influence” because alcoholism/addiction is not discussed nearly enough. People die everyday from this disease and yes it is a disease! Our children, parents, friends, etc. it is considered a shameful thing and I know because I carried that burden of shame with me and I was alone with it for way too many years. Not anymore, now I am an open book “no pun intended” I am a strong voice in the world of alcoholism! I shared our most intimate, painful moments in my book for one reason, to help others understand they are not alone in this there are many thousands of people world wide that suffer just as they do!
My book is starting to bring some light into the world of alcoholism, what it can look like, how it feels, etc. it breaks the old cliché of what many of us thought an alcoholic was. I had a woman I met online get a copy of my book and she said to me “I am reading it but it is hard, I have to keep coming back to it because I am reading my life through your words”. Sometimes it is too hard for us to see things as they really are especially in an alcoholic environment. As the other person you get use to “enabling” making excuses, covering up, downplaying the severity of the situation, we are vulnerable and easily manipulated, and we take on the blame and shame as though it is somehow our fault the other person has a problem. We have also started a FaceBook group called Alcoholics Anonymous & Al-Anon Come Together, please join us for support.
I wrote my book not thinking I am the best or honestly not even knowing if others would think it was very good, but it is honest & very emotional. It gives you a rare glimpse into what life is like living with an alcoholic! I put it all out there for all the other women, men, children, families, that have not found the courage to face this head on, it is not easy! In sharing our true life story with the world our hopes is that it helps the alcoholic that still suffers, we hope to help the spouse that feels alone, the friends that feel lost, the families that feel helpless. There is always HOPE never ever lose that! We hope to be the voice, the strength, the courage that people need to have to take that first step knowing that things can and do get better if you want it. You have to work at it but it is there for the taking you can change your life miracles happen everyday why not be one of them!
My husband and I have been told more times than I can count that we are not the norm, we shouldn’t have made it out together because many don’t. It doesn’t mean you will it doesn’t mean you won’t but to be an example that we not only saved our marriage but we rebuilt it even through alcoholism has been the biggest blessing for us to help give to others. It just goes to show you that you never know what path you will end up on in life but listen to the universe it will guide you to where you need to be. In closing we hope that you will all go to our website @ http://www.marriedundertheinfluence.com and get yourself a signed copy of our book and take that journey for yourself! I never imagined we would be a voice for alcoholism but here we are and together we are a strong positive voice and we are proud to carry our message about alcoholism to the world!
Wishing you Peace & Serenity…….Harmony