I found this photo quote online this morning and as soon as I saw it I knew what I would write about. How many times have you put on that fake smile so the world doesn’t see your pain? How many times have you put that mask on while feeling like your dying inside? How many people when asked how things are going in their life reply with “Things are good”? When your really covering up all the pain you are feeling? I was reminded this weekend just how broken I can feel at times. Some People believe that being forgiven means that all the feelings associated with that pain just disappear. I think if that were true what a wonderful gift that would be, but that simply is not the case.
Forgiveness is very powerful, it can free you from your hate, your resentments, your anger, even the hurt you feel. Essentially it can set you free from the emotional prison we can sometimes get ourselves trapped in. If people could understand that having feelings from something that you have forgiven doesn’t mean you have not forgiven them it means that the feelings from it are still a healing process and that is something that you cannot rush and they don’t go away after the words “I Forgive You” have been spoken.
There are things in life both big and small that we all go through and some traumas are far worse than others but that doesn’t mean they make a lesser impact on ones heart. If we all stopped for a moment and took those misunderstandings about why someone you may know is still having such emotions about something that happened years ago and you use the saying “put yourself in their shoes” only then would you fully understand the affects it has had on that individual. Everyone of us feels and copes with things differently that is what makes us all unique in our own ways. Look at the photo of Robin Williams (Bless his heart) from the outside we saw a well respected and loved actor who had a life that some of us may dream of, with never having to worry about money, being famous, big home, the world was his oyster. Inside though he felt broken he was fighting his own demons that no one ever knew about.
Money, fame, material things, they don’t change what is on the inside, just as much as if you are homeless, or living in a trailer park, or living in a giant house in an upscale neighborhood. Some of the “richest people” are ones who struggle paycheck to paycheck but their insides are at peace. I feel like there is a misconception about when you give forgiveness your not suppose to feel pain over what happened anymore. That just isn’t the way it is. I will say this though, if you are the one that may have wronged someone and you have been forgiven don’t take that for granted work every day at maintaining the actions that show your apology is sincere.
If one day someone is able to discuss things with you and the next your beating them up for having feelings about it those are not sincere actions. If you are making jokes about it and the other person becomes angry or very hurt by it know that you are in the wrong and what you are doing is causing further damage. In my own opinion when you give an apology that means that you are truly sorry for the hurt you have caused and you will not do it again and you do all you can every day to make up for it. You can’t expect someone to trust you if your actions are all over the place and one minute they feel safe and the next they are questioning suspicious actions from you.
Say what you mean and mean what you say! Is always my motto, Hey, we all make mistakes and unintentionally at times hurt someone’s feelings but it is what you do with that knowledge that separates you from the rest. At that moment you have a choice to make. You either make it right and be a better person than you were the day before or you continue on the path of destruction that you may be going down. Having compassion & empathy for another persons feelings especially a loved one and looking into their eyes and feeling the depth of their heart & soul & pain they may feel in that moment is when you have the capability to put yourself aside and put them first. No matter how hard what they may have to say is for you to hear remember it is a thousand times more painful for them to feel it.
Forgiveness is a beautiful feeling to give and to receive. It helps release you from all that has held you back. Healing from it is a journey, it is a process and sometimes it is a lifelong one but forgiveness is the first step to a new way of living. This gives two people who may have been so broken the opportunity to come together and form a bond so close that the trauma/tragedy becomes a thing of beauty because what you get out of it is a new way of understanding, communicating, relating. You learn to not be selfish and put another persons feelings above your own, you learn how to give without expecting anything in return. To help someone you love through something so deep and challenging especially if you were at the hands of causing it can be one of the most amazing experiences you can have because you literally watch a trust that had been shattered building back together piece by piece. It is your choice to be the glue to help it stay together or the force that keeps a life shattered.
Be the difference you wish to see in the world, be an example to others and lead by your actions! Always be a person who stands by their words.
Wishing you Peace & Serenity…………..Harmony