This photo quote I found online is perfect for an open letter. I want to say Thank You to anyone who has ever hurt me because without you I would not be the person I am today! I would still be that girl that NEEDED to have a lot of friends, the girl that NEEDED everyone to like her, the girl that NEEDED to be accepted by all. The girl who grew up into the woman who NEEDED to feel NEEDED at any cost! Losing myself!
If I look at my life honestly I can say I have learned many lessons so far, a lot of them are painful ones. I would say the past Five years have been very eye-opening for me realizing that people are not always who they pretend to be. I have learned that no matter how much you want family or friends to care and accept you it doesn’t mean they will. I have learned that when people say they are here for you many of them are not. I have learned that Twinkies really tasted better as a kid! I have learned that an aggressive Rooster scares me a bit. I have learned that there are people that actually want you to fail and genuinely do not care about what’s best for you. I have learned that my parents are getting older and they won’t be here forever. But I have also learned that I am strong enough to handle any situation thrown my way. I have learned it is OK to be emotional, to scream at the world and cry until snot runs out of your nose because you are a human being.
I have realized not everyone is capable of being honest. I have learned that it burns like hell when you touch your eye after eating something salty (That was a rough lesson :)! I have learned when you lose trust in someone it is very hard to get it back. I have learned that some people just suck! I have learned that sometimes laughing hysterically until you feel like your going to pee your pants is all the therapy one needs (women will understand)! I have also learned it is OK to have things your afraid of and things you genuinely do not want to do and as long as it has no control over your life then it’s all good! Not everyone wants to jump out of an airplane, or run with the bulls, or go diving with sharks, or walk on hot coals, and that is OK because we are all individuals.
Mostly what life has taught me is that even on my worst days it is a beautiful journey! It is my choice everyday if that friend, family member, stranger, co-worker is going to bring me down. Hey, I am only human some things affect me deeper than others. Like seeing my Father struggle with the reality that more than likely he will never be able to leave long term care. When my daughters heart aches. When I see other people intentionally trying to cross boundaries in my marriage. When I know people are lying to me and they continue on with the charade. When I see abused animals (that one really pulls at the heart strings). When I have been hurt and I relive a memory that is painful.
There are so many things we all have emotions about. It boils down to this for me. Recently I had learned of a long-time friend being manipulative and lying to me for many, many years. When I simply asked about this do you know what happened? There was no discussion, there was blame put on me, & I was immediately discarded from their life after 30 years of “friendship”. They were caught in a lie and because they are so sick all they could do was remove me and run. All I can do in that situation is to be grateful to know the truth because I will no longer keep someone like that in my life. There are family members that we know tell lies & talk bad about people. We believe they don’t intend to be bad people but they have bad intentions, we care about them but know that it only hurts us to keep them in our life so for our well-being we don’t have active relationships with them.
We all make mistakes in life but some things are very destructive and you have to decide for yourself what is best for you. Also, If your spouse is uncomfortable or consistently bothered by something maybe don’t be so quick to dismiss it take another look from their perspective you could be missing what is important. There may be things you wouldn’t normally do but sometimes you have to go outside your comfort zone in order to achieve what is best. I have learned that just because I have a painful memory come up that brings a lot of emotions with it, it simply means that for whatever reason in that moment I am having a flashback and maybe it is because something similar is happening in my life. Or it could mean that I have been triggered by something. Not everyone is holding a grudge or resentment just because they remember something, it just happens to be a part of my life and the lessons I have learned from it and to me it is the universe’s way of making sure I don’t forget who I am and how far I have come! There is so much more I can add but I will just close with this……….We all have a path to follow and along the way there will be signs thrown your way as to what is right and wrong, it is up to you what you do with it. Love is the greatest healer and the most powerful gift you can give to another person, when you find Love within yourself you will find Peace!
Wishing you Peace & Serenity……….Harmony