Hi all it’s Harmony Rose……My husband & I just celebrated our 13th Wedding Anniversary! I am not sure that I have an actual topic for this blog I would just like to talk about some different things and see where it goes……….
Life is much crazier today than when I was growing up. I don’t remember hearing about so many shootings and violence in the world as you do today. My daughter is 22 years old and I talk to her almost every single day because I want to know she is safe! I have to say, I can’t imagine how the parents or families of these shooters must feel. As a society we are so quick to threaten the family or cast blame on them when most of them had no idea their family member was a raging lunatic and had the desire to kill people!
People today are so focused on race, religion, political beliefs, what gender you are, if your gay, straight, bi-sexual, homosexual, transgender, good lord………….let people live their own damn lives and worry about yourself! Bottom line is we are all human beings we all have our own beliefs but nobody has the right to physically punish you, verbally abuse you and destroy your life because of what they believe you to be. If you won’t take the time to get to know someone before you choose to pass judgment on them then you better make sure all your skeletons are out for everyone to see because nobody is perfect we all have flaws and that’s OK it means we are living life and learning from our mistakes as we go along! If your goal is to maliciously hurt people then that is a reflection of your character not mine! I hear this quote often in AA meetings I go to with my husband “what someone thinks of me is NONE of my business”! That would work great if nothing bothered me. I am a very sensitive person, I want all my family and friends to love me and for people to like me, when they don’t, I don’t understand why because I am a good person. Truth is not everyone gets along, not everyone will like you and I have learned that it is OK to let people go out of your life for your own well being because some of those people are so toxic, but we hold onto the idea in our mind of what things are like instead of taking it at face value.
My husband and I have a little farm at our house with dogs, cats, ducks, and chickens. Before he got into recovery we wouldn’t have been able to enjoy these things together. For me his sobriety means I get to heal. It means I get to build a deep connection with my husband and him with me on every level because his mind and judgment are no longer clouded by alcohol. His sobriety is also an opportunity for me to be able to communicate with him more openly when problems arise. My husband talks with me now and we have funny conversations, deep conversations, and everyday kind of conversations. Much different than the ones when he was drinking it was more like a battlefield than a place of acceptance or understanding. Life is so much different for us now, we are truly blessed that we had an opportunity to rebuild our marriage. Many people don’t. Some people just give up when things get hard or they get bored and think someone new will help them feel alive again. People way back when have a saying “if it was broke we fixed it”. Now I’m not saying everyone should stay together but there are relationships that if people put the time and effort into falling in love with their spouse instead of being unfaithful looking for that “connection” I would bet there would be less divorces and more love in this world.
In the end though what matters is that I give more than I get. I give deeply with all my heart to all the animals in need that I can rescue and help. I am very passionate about animals and I do speak up for them and do all I can! I am very strong willed when it comes to someone who lies! I can’t stand when people lie and when they do it maliciously it really doesn’t sit well with me. The Italian in me really get’s going BUT I have learned that there are things and people that are simply not worth my time or effort! You try and hurt me, my family, any animals, your done, you have no place in our life and it is as simple as that! The more effort and energy I put into people like this that suck, the more life it sucks out of me! I say learn the lesson feel what you feel and resolve it within yourself, it takes time, these things can be very hurtful, but some people you just can’t reason with because they are not rational and you have to learn to let go. Sometimes it’s family or a friend and you have to love them wish them well but there is no place for toxic people in our life.
Life is crazy but what an amazing journey it has been! I have always loved to write but would never have thought that in entering a contest 8 months after my book was published I would be a Finalist winner! They said “now you’re an award winning author” WHAT, ME are you serious? That is so awesome! Talk about being humbled & proud! My husband supported me 100% in my writing this book to share our most intimate journey through alcoholism with the world. You see after it was published we sat down and read it from cover to cover together and it brought up so many emotions for us. We laughed, and we cried a lot. It was cathartic for me but also very much for him. There are things my husband doesn’t remember while he was drinking but he remembers bits & pieces and for him as bad as some of it was it filled in the blanks for him. It was eye opening to see all the destruction one persons addictions can have on the whole family.
Some people think it is one person’s problem but my husband and I knew it was so much more than that and that is why I wrote this book and shared the details of our life. It’s a family disease! I knew I wasn’t the only person who felt the way I did I wanted to help people as much as I needed to help myself. Our book has opened up so much communication with complete strangers sharing their own experiences strength and hope with us. I have had people hug me like they have known me forever and with tears in their eyes said “Thank you for writing this book”. It isn’t about my book being the best what it is about is connecting with people all over the world from every different race, religion, sexual preference, nothing matters with alcoholism it is not prejudice it will take anyone into it’s evil clutches and once it has a hold of you it is hard to get out. Knowing others have been where you are it helps people to feel less alone, less crazy, and it gives you a support you have maybe never known before because others in this world have taken the same journey and made it out the other side and knowing that may help save a life, a marriage, a family and that was the most important reason for writing this book to help others in any way we could!
Wishing you Peace & Serenity…………Harmony