This has been the most heart breaking year for me. I lost my Dad this year and let me tell you this, if you haven’t lost anyone close to you then you will not be able to really grasp what grief feels like deep down in your soul until someone you cherish and are very close too leaves this life. My Dad is my safe place, my biggest supporter, my hero. I have learned so much from him. Everyday I miss him more than the last. I know that he would want me to be happy and live my life which I do, but some days are much harder than others. That being said, take ALOT OF PHOTOS in your life! Sometimes they are all the memories you have left of certain times or certain people. Believe me when I tell you that you will cherish them!
We had 5 ducklings born this year! They are definitely much messier than chickens but boy are they cute to watch. You know they are totally adorable makes you almost want some right!! One of our Momma chickens actually hatched them and took care of them for 2 weeks, not kidding! And we still have our jerky aggressive Rooster……Ya still afraid of that little ass but he sure is a beautiful bird, his name is David Bowie…..It’s the hair!
Our home is paid off, what a huge relief that is! We were also able to get a new roof put on the house finally after dealing with years of a leaky roof! We lost 2 of our longtime rescue cats this year Lewis & Lucy along with many more…..that is never easy, always breaks my heart. I hope it is true what they say, that all the animals you have loved in your life will be waiting for you. Oh boy let me tell you how many will be waiting for me, they will need a new place just for me and my entourage of beloved furbabies! My husband and I rescue homeless cats and pick up and rescue dogs off the street from getting hit by cars. As a matter of fact we are in the process of building indoor/outdoor enclosure #2 for the rest of the cats in our area. We intend on getting them all off the street and safely in an environment where they will live happy, warm, and safe! We have taken in 17 new cats and kittens over the past 3 months. We have had close to 400 cats spayed/neutered. Someone tossed them out like they were trash but we see the beauty in those less fortunate struggling to survive, no animal should be left outside to live like cats and dogs. Oh I should mention that I know my purpose on this earth is to save animals, and the compassion and love I have for them is so deep, they are all sentient beings in my eyes!
We celebrated my husband having 5 years clean and sober! This was such a nice day. My Dad was with us in spirit he was always so proud of my husband for getting into recovery and changing his life! This photo is what can happen when you are clean, you have family & friends that celebrate with you, not everyone supports you and some people leave your life but what you gain is indescribable, he lives a great life now one with integrity and honesty!
My Husband has increased the company he works for by 40 million a year! Not kidding! He is an incredible sales man who has been in the industry for 30 plus years. To say he found a great company he will be blessed to retire with is nothing short of answered prayers. Being in your 50’s looking for a new job isn’t always an easy task but they took a chance on him and believe me the owner of the company even said to me at the Christmas Party this year that he is an awesome man who does a phenomenal job! Yes he is but let’s be careful how BIG you allow his ego to get……..HAHAHA! Just after I wrote this my husband walked into the room and I said “Is there anything that happened this year you can think of” His exact words were “I AM GREAT” see EGO……. If you are miserable doing the work you are doing find something you love to do, it is important you like your job!
It has been a very difficult year for me. I haven’t written like I want too, as a matter of fact often I am just blank. My Dads passing has really changed my life. It’s like you know these things happen in life but believe me you can never prepare for how it affects you. All I can say is I do my best and some days the winds are knocked out of my sails and I have to remember to take time for me and continue to grieve. My Dads passing has also brought out the “real person” in some people who have removed themselves from my life. That was a shocker and now I can say it is a blessing not a curse. I think we sometimes see people for what we want to see them as or make them out to be what we want them to be, but when you have the opportunity to look back on things you often see that what you thought was real really wasn’t real at all.
Some of the problems I have seen in todays society is the raging selfishness and self-entitlement from people! It sickens me and I am happy to not have those type of people in my life. You realize that sometimes strangers become friends, and friends become strangers. Take chances in life and do what makes you happy. Share your life with your partner don’t live a life separate. Sometimes people forget they are sharing their lives. COMPROMISE, COMMUNICATION, GIVING, these things are so important in any relationship! I wrote a blog a while ago that talked about if friendship can survive alcoholism…….I am so excited that my dear friend who had one foot in and one foot out drinking and not drinking is NOW SOBER!!
Here is what she said to me the other day……..She said I now have almost 5 months of not drinking she said “I never realized how much money I was actually spending on alcohol” She said she now has money to buy thing and do things! She said she also never realized what a depressant it really is. She was the most negative person, also skeptical and bah hum bug about a lot of things, never saw a bright side. Now she is smiling, happy and relaxed! She has a positive energy and glow about her and she looks great. She said “Until I stopped drinking and was serious about it I never realized how much it affected my life” She said she even gets to have conversations with her daughter that don’t go right into arguments. Love her she is family. I am so happy about this I can’t tell you how much I can see the changes she has naturally made because she kicked alcohol out of her life! So proud of her!
I will leave you with this……..there are significant things in life that will knock you to your knees like losing someone you love dearly. We are all in this world together and you can all make a difference if you just try. Whether it is getting clean and sober, making amends, changing jobs, changing the way you treat others. You are the only one in control of how you behave. If you owe an amends don’t wait because sometimes you may not have the opportunity. It is so true that we are never guaranteed tomorrow. Be kind to others, donate, volunteer, help people and animals, do good in this world leave your mark!
These two photos are my most favorite Christmas photos of all time the one where we are on the stairs is with my Dad being childlike and the other is our last Christmas together. If I can touch anyone I would say this……although my Dad wasn’t well we didn’t expect to loose him when we did. My Dad and I argued the day he went to the hospital. When I got the call that he was going to the emergency room he was in bad shape not conscience and it took 2 days before he opened his eyes enough to talk to him and we got to say I love you and joke around with him and about 6 hours later I got a call they were intubating him and I never got to talk to him again. All I could do was hold his hand and talk to him to let him know I was there!
Sometimes we don’t get a chance to make things right, although this was our thing Dad and I always butted heads but I took care of him and we always knew we loved each other and how close of a bond we shared. If I never had a chance to talk to him again it would have haunted me for the rest of my life! I would never want the last words said to be bad ones. My message is it is OK to not be a part of someone’s life, not everyone has a place in yours. You can love family from a distance and wish them well knowing it is too toxic to be a part of them. We can’t beat ourselves up over the things we have no control over but we have to learn how to make peace with things, even things we aren’t ok with. Do your best every day to be better than you were the day before. Go to bed at night with a clear conscience that you didn’t intentionally hurt someone that day. If you fail at something don’t take it so hard know it is just part of our lesson, try a different way or grow form it either way failing means you tried. If you are using or drinking please get yourself some help to change your life for yourself and your loved ones, the miracles are waiting for you if you just reach for them. Don’t be so busy that you don’t pay attention to the people in your life, they need you. Love with all your heart do good be kind above all giving is living. Much Love and blessings to you and your families, make 2018 a phenomenal year! My family will be remembering the man we all miss dearly but who is with us in spirit always!
WISHING YOU PEACE & SERENITY ALWAYS………..HARMONY